The Undeserving Six

It has been a fortnight since my last posting about the BB house, I have been absent for an array of reasons, not least of which is the fact that the Big Brother house has remained a generally dull and uneventful show. As expected Gos got the boot last week, leaving just 6 housemates in the house.



It seems like a lifetime ago since it was ‘Day One’ – May 23’rd. Like hundreds of thousands of other ‘hardcore’ BB fans, I was seriously looking forward to the next group of housemates. We all had so many high hopes of fun, excitement, and maybe even some passion in this fourth season of BB. After some nine months of waiting - a pregnancy of sorts, our fourth baby was duly delivered to millions of curious viewers.

It could not have started better with the arrival of Anouska – I was stunned, - at the time I thought ‘…are they all going to be like this, 12 models?’. As many people noted as the time, Anouska was quite out of place that evening – in a fashion sense at least. As the only one dressed in fancy clothes, Anouska stood out like a beaming lighthouse on a cold dark stormy night. The thought has occurred to me that Anouska was actually set up by Channel 4 to appear so out of place. What did they tell her would be ‘appropriate’ that first night, did it differ from what they suggested to the other housemates ?

So we had Anouska in the house, but then the other eleven arrived. I was not entirely inspired with a sense of hope as each of the contestants were revealed. However, I tried to give each of the housemates the benefit of the doubt. I truly wanted them to be dynamic, exciting, and to provide us with a real degree of entertainment. But as the weeks have slipped by my hopes of an exciting Big Brother series –along with a few million other people, have faded away.

First impressions remain something I am very much still interested in. I am actually quite content with my level of accuracy in how I originally perceived the housemates. I suggest you refer to my first posting on the housemates  , The only major surprise was Jon – he didn’t’ stand out at all that first night as someone whom many would later cheer on.


The Undeserving Six

The remaining 6 housemates of the house are so dull and uninspiring I find it almost painful to write about them. However, let us consider a few of the events in the last few weeks shall we…



Ψ Cameron : Filled with Fear and Anger

Dear Cameron Stout, where should I start on this one ? I am proud to say that I was right about this one from the very start. As so many other people have similarly noted, Cameron is not what he has tried to portray himself as. His verbal attacks on people have been very cleverly managed. Cameron will vent his thoughts on other housemates, but then say how he ‘hates to talk behind someone’s back’. He has also done this in the diary room on numerous occasions. Remember the incident where he said he wanted to block Lisa’s windpipe with his finger, after he said this he then tried to counter it with his plea that he is still a good Christian man. Hmm, Cameron may be able to fool some viewers, but not all. Let us also not forget his comments about Jon, how he’d like to ‘smash his mouth to the back of his head’ – something his ‘saviour’ Jesus would be proud of ? 

Cameron is quite a nasty piece of work, he picks on the housemate who is least liked by the group. First we saw how Cameron sided with the group against Jon Tickle. Jon was narrowly beaten by Cameron in the 5’th eviction vote by around 60,000 votes – a relatively margin. After Cameron returned from BB Africa (having rejected a few delicious women), he soon realised that Lisa was the new house scapegoat – and so he has been on her case ever since. What sort of person would dismiss Lisa’s breathing problems so easily as an ‘act’ to garner sympathy ? You remember the EVIL look Cameron gave Lisa whilst she was almost dying from lack of air, the man has some really twisted attitudes about people.

The really scary thing about this situation is that none of the other housemates have yet picked up on it. Is this because they are all so dull, or are they afraid that Cameron will turn on them ? One final note on Cameron, is to contrast his bullying with Jade Goody in BB3. Jade’s primary target was Sophie – who had done nothing wrong, other than to enter ‘Jades house’. The point is that Cameron is more sly, more careful in how we launches his character assassinations compared to ms. Goody. Jade was pretty much obvious to other housemates, she was a straight talker. Cameron is instead a highly cautious but vindictive housemate, who has declared utter contempt for Jon and Lisa – neither of whom have ever said anything nasty to him.

* Sadly, Cameron will reach the final night of BB4. As many will realise, ALL housemates receive a very much positive response from the audience (and davina) on the final night show. It is shame that the C4 editing has been so twisted that Cameron C4’s ‘chosen one’ will receive a very undeserved positive response when he leaves on Day 64, this July 24’th.


Ψ Nush : Flakey, or unstable witch ?

Nush has been the giggly, tactile, and stereotypical flakey new-ager girl of the house –sounds nice, initially at least. She has done well in the house, picking up just a handful of nominations during her 7 week stay. Her charm and good looks (as Cameron would say ‘she’s as hot as can be’), have kept Nush quite secure in the house. 

* the fact that Nush got around 36% of the vote compared to Gos is interesting though. Clearly Nush does have a pretty large anti-nush following. She can’t possibly win BB4, but she’ll be around on the final night.

Nush : Blood sucking Vampire scum?



Ψ Ray – The rude boy

Ray Shah, he is still as rude and filthy mouthed as he was on his first night in the house. Upon hearing that as ‘Head of the house’ he who would be solely responsible for nominating, Ray promptly became tearful. I don’t think he was upset for the fact that he was going to be nominating his so called ‘friends’, but that he would now be next weeks prime target for nomination. Yes indeed, ‘Raymondo’ will be put up for the boot next week, and I predict he will be promptly evicted. Ray won’t be winning BB4 – that much is quite clear. Sure Ray has a fair few teeny text voter fans, but that will not be enough for him to win.

Ψ Scott – dull as ever

Mr Scott, the man that blended right into the wallpaper within moments of entering the house. If he turns out to have been playing a strategy of stealth since Day 1, then he is arguably the most successful ‘player’ in BB history. It just looks right now as though Scott will win. Let us also not forget that both Federico and Jon has both suggested that Scott is a great guy and deserves to win.

Right now, Scott seems to be the best ‘winner’ of a lousy group. I guess i should not start to proclaim 'scott to win', but as ever, Don't vote. As i've said time and time again since Jon/Fed got booted, C4/Endemol deserve not a single extra 25p in response for how they continue to have twisted editing on the highlights show.


Ψ Steph – sly and bitchy

Steph, what should I write on her ? Has she really done anything of any noticeable level ? Err, not much really. Only her kiss with Cameron – remains her current highlight, and if I may say, it didn’t look a particularly passionate kiss.

Despite having such a nice name, ms. Steph has annoyed me a lot. She has bitched endlessly about Lisa since she entered the house. Steph’s attitude remains one of a childs reasoning. Steph believes that Lisa must go because she has not stayed in the house as long as the others. Never mind the fact that Steph is boring as hell, dresses like a woman in her early 50’s, and has about much passion as err… Steph ;)


Ψ Lisa – all alone in the house

I truly feel sad for Lisa. She entered the house at a particularly late stage in the game – she was doomed from the moment she entered via the reward room. Lisa didn’t do much though did she. She arrived in the house, with knowledge of exactly what had been going on in the house, yet she has not played the housemates off eachother. For instance, if only she had challenged the group on how ‘dull and boring’ they all were, then sparks would have flew, and Lisa’s public standing would have soared – it might even have been possible for Lisa to snatch a sneaky win. But no, like most BB housemates Lisa has remained too afraid to truly vent her feelings to the group. Yes she has confronted them a few times, but it has been of no real consequence.

Indeed the group has generally blanked out and treated Lisa will mostly an attitude of disdain. Note also how rude boy Ray tore off Lisa’s bikini top, and then threw it clearly away from the pool area. What sort of manner is this to treat a relative new comer to the house ? It just looks to me as though Ray is allowed to get away with almost anything he likes.  

Lisa will be one of the few (perhaps only) BB housemate to have never actually got the chance to nominate someone for eviction. She will be missed by many viewers when she is evicted, although she probably won’t be remembered much in a few months time. Next summer people will say ‘lisa, who ?’


So, there we have it. Six truly uninspiring and particularly drab and negative housemates. The group’s treatment of Lisa has been highly contemptible, and should not be overlooked when it comes to forming a final assessment once the show is over.


The 13’th housemate

As many have noted, BB show Producer ‘Gigi’ said prior to the start of the series that BB this year would be a ‘back to basics’ series. As I mentioned a few weeks ago the mere mention of that policy sent a chill through me. Whenever such an attitude of ‘back to basics’ is declared, it usually means the opposite is going to happen.

The addition of the 13’th housemate was the most unbelievable and obviously desperate measure that the production team have ever taken in BB history. 

It was a wholly pointless and inevitably futile measure. Did the head producer not realise that adding an extra housemate at this stage in the game was a waste of time ? I can only assume that they were seeking to ‘restore the gender balance’ to the house. The gender ratio of 6-3 was a surprise to many people – not least the housemates themselves, how I never saw a reason to artificially restore ‘the balance’. If you have 6 great guys but 6 boring girls – what is wrong with having all 6 girls being the first six to be evicted? Why some people automatically believe the eviction process should be ‘boy girl boy girl etc’ is simply crazy.


Task Master- aka 'Master of Lameness'


Yes indeed,  this is the man to be blamed for the endlessly weak and unimaginative tasks of this series. The question is this, does Mr Hollands need to be sacked for his quality of work? Does he deserve the sack for his meaningless and insulting Saturday night ‘straw task’ ?  I’ve heard it said a few times now, but the housemate tasks look ill planned, done on the cheap, and are usually over in a matter of seconds – for example  'the tug of war'.

Iain Hollands is responsible for the 'Straw task'. He came up with the astounding idea of housemates pulling straws from a piece of foam/plastic (£1.99 ? ). Yet all six straws were the same bloody length. The only effect this had was in determining the order in which housemates met Lisa. C4 managed to make this pathetic task last an astounding 25minutes, and was arguably the worst task they’ve had out of the four BB series.

Weekly Group tasks...
Pedalo (reasonably okay)
Cub scouts – way to kiddie like.
Bell ringing (very dull viewing)
Super Heroes - cheap
Questions about housemates - so cheap
Horse Jumping - dull
Head of household – Ray, gambling

It just seems that the Production team spend as little £4.99 on the task equipment each week- talk about cheap skates. C4/Endemol make many millions out of the show, yet they fail to invest where it is necessary. The house itself is fine (although the location is poorly judged), yet almost all the tasks just appear to be made on a budget of a few pounds.

No nudity please – this is BB UK

I’m probably going to annoy a few people with this, but oh well. What the hell was written into the contestants contracts this year ? From the coverage this year I can only assume that their was a clause which quite clearly prohibited C4 from screening a single second of any nudity – semi, or otherwise. This is somewhat odd considering that in previous series housemates were regularly shown naked. Remember the screens in BB2 of Amma, Helen, and Elizabeth in the bathroom. Yet this year things are much more restrained and held back. We have seen the beautiful Anouska in the bath once – from behind, and that was shown primarily by C4 in their attempt to portray Cameron as a bit of a ‘letchy devil’.

Cameron and Anouska : BB UK's limit on what can be seen.


So why the change in policy ? I don’t get it at all, everyone knows that the two big ratings pullers are sex and arguments – neither of which we have had in this years show. What were C4 trying to achieve with this backward step in the show ? Have they been under some pressure from the head of C4, to refrain from showing the housemates in such a manner ?

For a moment just consider the situation in almost every other BB house. Even BB Africa has a ‘shower hour’ – a continent which contains some highly religious/repressed cultures. Yet here we are in North West Europe, and the producers has essentially banned any display of housemates naked. Consider the transformation of Anouska. She may have only lasted one week in UK BB, but she has made quite an impression in BB Australia. The producers of BB Australia have no qualms about showing Anouska in all her glory, in fact for that show, Anouska’s naked beauty is highlighted as a leading aspect of the show.


Beautiful Anouska in BB Australia - now there IS a woman



I despair at the repressed nature of UK television, compared to mainland Europe we are still living in the 18’th century. As Avid would say ‘this is Davina, please don’t say fuck or bugger’, along with such word hang ups, we are still living in a country that is governed by people who say we should not see naked people on our mainstream TV. Oh well, so much for an enlightened UK population. I will admit UK culture has made 'some' significant progress in loosing some of its repressed nature, yet we clearly have a long way to go to catch up to Scandinavia, and for that matter – almost EVERY other developed nation on the planet.

Anouska having a little fun, unlike the repressed UK BB house.


I suppose a few of you are jumping up and down right now, upset that I don’t find naked people disgusting and offensive, and that I don’t have a hang up on people saying certain words. Too bad. Oh, and in case some of you are wondering, I don’t watch BB in the hope of seeing a few naked women frolicking in the house, or seeing people have the BB bathroom. If I want to see that sort of thing, there are other places for that. The BB house is about the interplay of 12 people and how they interact, not primarily about sex.

I will end on this note though, is it me or did the C4 producers manage to find the most un-sexual people this year EVER ? Do any of the housemates have any hormones in them ? Pick any random group of people in their 20’s and 30’s, and they will all be seething with hormones. Yet somehow the producers managed to pick the most unsexed people possible. The only – if somewhat pitiful, sexual aspect in this years house, was when Ray walked to the bathroom with a duvet over his head, and then (most assume) had a few minutes of self-pleasure. What sort of a person is that weak minded as to throw a duvet over their head, even BEFORE they entered the toiled (ick !). As for the other eleven housemates, they all seem to have about as much sexuality as a group of Nuns. Never forget how Steph replied to Federicos ‘do you relieve yourself much?’ query with ‘…Never !’ and she later also noted ‘I’m not sexual at all’. So much for Steph having a sexuality, no wonder she got divorced – her ex.husband must have a story to sell to the tabloids. 


Does Big Brother have a future ?

BB4 has surely been the worst of the four UK Big Brother series. BB1 was a unique show for UK television, the housemates really had no idea of what to expect, and how the media might treat them. BB2 cruised along nicely, with some pretty good characters and many memorable moments. BB3 is arguablyt the best show to date, with a series of classic moments, inc. the Jade/Adele argument, and also Jade’s ranting about her minging body. The 12 selected housemates of BB4 have been the dullest and most inactive people ever to be in the BB house. How could this be allowed to happen?

Can we be optimistic about the future of UK BB, can we expect BB5 to be any better than the latest dismal failuire ? Or will BB3 be looked upon forever as the ‘glory days’ of UK Big Brother ? The Days of Adele, of Jade, and Alex Sibley – now that WAS great late night entertainment.  Assuming the majority of the production team remain for BB5, then it just looks as though things will remain mostly unchanged. I would love to see a series of sackings for the C4 staff involved with producing BB, in response to what they have done in ruining the format. Sadly I don’t think we shall see any noticeable change in the production team, which if true, would lead me to abandon any further interest in BB UK.

Final Four

Cameron, Steph, Nush, and Scott - Arggggggh. There is little doubt in my mind that these will indeed be the final four of this years show. What a tragic end to the fourth series of BB. No Anouska, no Jon, and no Fed. For true fans of Big Brother, the situation is quite heartbreaking. The final four we are facing are simply awful, none of them deserve the prize money of 70k, never mind the few hundred thousand that might be gained from magazines, papers, and advertising revenue.

Just imagine it, in around 4-6 weeks Scotts face will be all over the cover of magazines such as ‘Hello’. We all know C4 and the general media will falsely portray him as a ‘dynamic’, ‘exciting’, and ‘sexy’ young guy. The sad thing will be that the majority of readers/viewers will believe every word of what they read. The majority of BB viewers will only have seen the twisted editing of the highlights show, they’ll never ever discover just how utterly dull Scott Turner was.

I’m sorry if I have ended up being almost totally negative about this years show. I have tried so hard to be positive and enthusiastic about the housemates, and the overall format of the show, but I won’t hold back. BB4 has turned out to be a mess, there will be at least another 2-3 series of BB – after all it is such a money spinner for C4, but the overall format is in danger of total collapse. With a whole array of gimmicks this year – BB Africa, adding a 13’th housemate, and HoH to name just three, the show has certainly not been ‘back to basics’ as the producers proclaimed proudly in May.

As for next years show, could BB5 possibly turn out to be any worse ?

Calrissian : Still around, if only to watch the BB ship sink.


Related Net Links

BB uncensored  If you are curious to see more of Anouska, then visit this great BB Australia fan site.

BB Africa : via Tashi Tagg , - her personal website is truly spectacular, with a mass of links/great content.

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© 2003 Philip Calrissian
Last Updated : 08/10/04