Life without Kitten
Big Brother is really quite good this year, way
beyond my initial expectations. The
past week has been simply great, so much has happened that it is hard to
select just a few of the best things that have happened from the dozens of
incidents that merit attention.
The past week in the house
More has happened in the group in the past week than arguably happened in
the whole of BB4. So, where should we start in this weeks summary ? What was the highlight of
the week, Kittens forced exit, Emma vs Victor, the kissing night, or
maybe Michelle's constant attention to her beloved chicken ?
Farewell to the Kitty
Most prominent this series has been the forced
eviction of 'Kathryn', which was a key marker for Big Brother UK. The producers were obviously in a real
about whether to keep her in the house. Kitten was annoying the hell out of
viewers - but of course, this helps to increase the level of debate about
the show. C4/Endemol chose the safe option though, and I can't
say I am particularly surprised - or even upset, at their decision. As
some may have realised, Kitten was in danger of bringing the show to an
extraordinary implosion last Friday night. Had all the housemates agreed
that the money was not important, would any have stayed once the money had
reached zero ?
Kitten had made her point. She will forever remain a classic case of how not
to behave in the BB house. Not only does it infuriate the viewers - most
of whom will get upset at such rule breaking, but it inevitably leads to
being nominated and put up for eviction within the first week. For anyone wanting to participate in future series of BB,
the example of Kitten should be a useful lesson on how not to behave.
Making her point : Kitten on the roof (again).
Saturday night task
The round-about task was
really quite icky, watching the 9 housemates whirling around and around was more than
enough to make me feel queasy. There was Marco, who spewed.....
arghh, something I never want to see again. However, this is
precisely the style of BB that fans have been calling for since BB2
concluded. Finally, perhaps we have a BB which is going to clamp down hard
on housemates breaking rules and lazing around in the garden endlessly
sunbathing. Understandably, BB will not go 'too evil' against the
housemates, C4 do not wish to see any of the housemates walking out - not
even Ahmed. So this year, BB will be a bit harsh - certainly more than BB3
was during the 'divide time', but not particularly bad to the stage where
someone will walk.
The effects of the round-about took its toll on Emma
Michelle and Stuart
I have read a fair bit about body language in my time, but to see such a
classic example as was seen with Michelle and Stuart was too good !
Michelle was only in the house a few days before she literally pounced
upon Stuart - and since then she has hardly let go of this naive boy. The
incident where Michelle was trying to be close with Stuart - who himself
was deeply uncomfortable, was very illuminating.
Michelle slowly moved in.....Stuart - wearing his girly clothes, soon
began to compress his body. Despite Stuart's initial pulling back,
Michelle kept on moving closer...and Stuart kept on moving farther back...
to the point where he was as far back as he could be ! Stuart was
displaying some classic defensive postures...crossed arms over his chest,
his head and eyes looking down at the floor, and his general body was
leaning away from Michelle. After some 20 minutes Michelle and Stuart are
still together, although Stuart remains very much uneasy with her constant
need for physical closeness - and her demands for "what ya thinking chicken,
tell me..... please... I need to know".
A little later, Michelle approaches Stuart - having left her 10mins
earlier, and then she starts clinging on again - and once more we see
Stuart looking away from Michelle - he can't bear to have Michelle so
close. For anyone studying body language, this was one of the best
examples I have ever observed of a guy who is very uncomfortable in a
Mini-Gallery - click on image for full size version.
Making her move..
Michelle gets close to nervous Stuart
Fearful of the predator Michelle, look at that defensive arm
Michelle covering her cowering prey
Michelle up close
She leans in, yet Stuart is not happy with the situation
Cuddly cuddly ?
Stuart, deeply uncomfortable having clingy Michelle wrapped around him.
Ψ Ahmed : As expected, dear Ahmed has had a hard time in the house.
Being a whole generation above the 'kids' has proved to be too much for
the poor guy. Ahmed is really quite pissed at Marco, and will probably
have a few more pokes at the seal clapper before he gets the boot. I
wonder why he 'really' entered the house though, what did he really expect
from the show ? Ahmed is quite secure in himself though, and goes to bed
when he wants - not when the group do. The fact that he is more than happy
to confront Marco is a further indicator to the strength of the man.
Ahmed remains the primary target to be nominated by the other housemates,
and obviously won't last much longer.
Ψ Dan : As I had expected, Dan has a dark side to him. Many will still
disagree with me, but consider his nominations this week. He is somewhat
annoyed with not only Ahmed, but Marco and also Michelle. Clearly he is
wanting to boot out one of the children quickly - and it would seem likely
he'll stick to nominating the children - Emma or Victor seems a likely
bet, once Ahmed is gone.
Ψ Emma : Dear Emma - who remains my predicted winner, has had an
awfully tough time in the house. She is becoming louder by the day, and
has already picked up a few enemies - primarily Victor and Jason. Is Emma really
as stupid as she appears. Her stumbling over the word
"...Intel.....intelli.... Intelligent" was all too ironic to witness. She
has said too many things lately to be faking it, Emma is indeed only a few
levels above the infamous Ms. Goody. However, does Emma have any redeeming
features that might help keep her in the house ? Emma's heart is in the
right place, and hopefully some sort of 'nice' incident will happen that
will capture the attention of the BB viewers. Remember though, that
despite what Emma might get up to, C4 will always be on Emma's side ;)
Ψ Jason : Perhaps the most obvious game player of this series. Jason
is now almost directly leading an 'alliance' to vote out the children -
Nadia, Emma, Marco, and Michelle. Jason is quite fascinating to watch,
having now been very flirty with not only Vanessa, but Dan of all people !
Jason seems not intent on wooing Vanessa - although she does not look the
type to let loose her passions whilst in the house.
Ψ Marco : The instigator of the bloody endless 'seal clapping', Marco
is really quite a weird housemate. He has acted like a totally dumb fool
since day'1, until this week, when he started to talk with Shell about
Evolution and Social policy - the stuff this guy was coming out with was
pretty fine debate. Is Marco really smart ? Is he playing the 'I'm stupid
Ψ Michelle : Her
obsession with - as some call him 'Stu-pid', has reached almost comical
levels. She almost literally followed him around the house like a lost
puppy. She is very young, and the news report that she didn't tell her
parents she was entering the BB house is somewhat interesting. Does she
come from a repressed household? Why does she want to be page 3 model, and
what will her family think of that ?
Ψ Nadia : The new 'woman' is actually doing remarkably well both
inside and outside the house - I still expect her to reach maybe the
penultimate week, Nadia is relatively 'benign'. She never says anything
that might upset anyone, and is the quite often the laughter of the house
- which will certainly help sway anyone from nominating her in the weeks
She won't win though, and I
don't believe she expects to either.
Ψ Shell : The saviour of Big Brother and C4 ? It was Shell who
single-handedly begged Kitten to leave the house, as the money was ticking
away on the TV screen. Shell has on a number of occasions now, spoken of
her 'many debts', and she is clearly desperate to win the prize. Make no
mistake about it, Shell is intent on winning, and she'll do all she can to
achieve her goal. Most noticeably in the past week, Shell has secured a
strong bond with Vanessa - and together they regularly bitch about the
children - especially the relationship of Michelle and Stuart.
Interestingly, evidence supports this theory, in that their nominations so
far have been exactly the same.
In many ways Shell is indeed 'Nush MK.II'. Yet Shell is somewhat more free
minded -and as has been seen, she likes to get naked, run around, and
play with the others. She appears also quite a straight talker - at least
on certain subjects.
Ψ Stuart : The poor boy has yet to pick up a nomination, but his
relationship with Michelle could seriously back fire on him if he is not
more discreet. Yet, the teenie texters will support him, if he needs some
help, so his place is secure until the final night.
Ψ Vanessa : Ms. Vanessa, she may have a gorgeous sexy body, but she
is one real sneaky housemate - one that intends to win on her 'class and
looks'. She continues to generally push away Jason - the only guy that has
shown any interest in her. She is certainly somewhat uptight. Whenever the
issue of nudity comes up, ms. V will drag up the issue of 'my parents
would kill me'. What sort of grown adult is this ? Is she really still in
the mindset of a child ? Does she still follow every command that her
parents request of her ? Perhaps so. Vanessa does not deserve much
respect, her now daily bitching sessions with Shell are becoming the
primary reason why she should get the boot.
Ψ Victor : Dear Victor continues to annoy the hell out of many viewers,
not least for his pretend 'hard image'. No doubt his friends in the Burbs
of London are laughing their heads off, since Victor appears STILL to
realise that Nadia was once a guy.
said about Emma in his nominations "she may well be the stupidest person
on the face of this earth... I think her time would be better spent in
four years of night school learning her alphabets again". You make not
like him as a person, but he is coming out with some classic lines.
Mind Stretching games : Paper, Rock, Scissors -
Marco seems to finally be getting the hang of it !
The First Nominations
Ahmed : Marco & Emma
Dan : Ahmed & Michelle
Emma : Victor & Dan
Jason : Marco & Emma
Marco : Jason & Ahmed
Michelle : Ahmed & Jason
Nadia : Ahmed & Dan
Shell : Ahmed & Michelle
Stuart : Ahmed & Vanessa
Vanessa : Ahmed & Michelle
Victor : Emma & Vanessa
So, Ahmed got a mighty 7 votes, with Michelle and Emma with 3.
Interestingly, Shell and Stuart received not a single vote.
The most interesting votes so
far : Emma and Victor voted for each other as did Marco and Jason. Shell
and Vanessa both voted for Michelle to be booted. Is this a sign of things
to come from this close girl pairing ?
Michelle : The media tart, enjoying some sunshine.
Lets take a quick overview of the remaining 11 housemates.
Group 1: 'the children' Emma, Marco, Michelle, Nadia
Group 2: 'middle people' : Dan, Victor, Stuart
Group 3: 'the adults' : Ahmed, Jason, Shell, Vanessa.
The children are obvious to
most viewers, as are the adults of the group. However, Dan, Victor, and
Stuart are somewhere in the middle of the two main groups. Stuart
certainly is not on the same level as Marco and Emma, but neither is he on
the level of Vanessa or Dan. Victor is a case unto himself - like him or
despise him, he's doing mostly okay in the group. As for the 'adults',
Vanessa and Shell are the leading females of the house, with Jason taking
the leading male role. As for Ahmed, the poor guy is now looking so out of
place, and he is quite fed up with house life. Ahmed says he would like to leave,
but I doubt he is the walking type- but then, you never know !
What can we say then about this group, is this a normal group ? It
certainly has a fair spread of housemate types. We have 4 children, 4
adults, and 3 'middle' people, each of which have now found their role in
the group. Some distinct pairings have also begun. Jason is most certainly
after Vanessa - although Vanessa does not seem the type to reciprocate.
Michelle is still after her 'chicke' Stuart, with Stuart's attitude
swinging from late night caresses to not wanting Michelle in his arms.
C4 and BBLB production
I said in a forum recently, how I wished I could watch how the BB
production team come to decide their plans, tasks, and run the show. Well,
on a sleepy Sunday someone screwed up and the BBLB preproduction live
feed, and my wish sorta came true.
The Stars : Lady in red:
Sonia, Guy in blue: Dave Camera guy 1: Phil, and Dermot
Mini Gallery for BBLB oops
(click on image for full size version)
Dave and Sonia
Hard at work in the BBLB studio
Sunny D' aka 'Filth'
Dave's substitute drink for Red Bull
Over the Edge ?
The effects of Sunny D' ?
Hungry for Crisps
Dermot had crisps- but not of the potato kind
Dave on Sunny D'
"I am drinking sunny d' cos its filth...Why do you think I'm drinking
Sunny D', because they didn't have any red bull...Gave me Juliet's boy
yesterday, pack of skittles, fucking hell, he was hyper till midnight that
Whilst watching the streaming...
Phil "go on shell, get me out, too late"
Dave "you'll give a bloke head on TV, but you won't show your nips....no
puppies...no puppies for xmas"
Phil 'she got her arse hanging out'
Someone else ''who's that?"
Phil "dark haired bird"
Dave "err. that's Mich', dirty Michelle"
Phil "..its not even worth putting on that bikini"
Dave "...she should have covered her face with it... would much better to
look at then...she got face like a bulldog, bulldog licking piss off a
Finally, in this 18mins of unofficial leaked footage... Dermot O'leary
Dermot : "I'm struggling to talk about this year"
"Nivea me UP, that is all i am saying. In the gym yesterday, looked up,
theres only one sexy urban..... get her on the line!"
"and then I went home and had
some crisps, you know what i'm talking about bernie... (winks to camera),
they weren't potatoes, let me put it that way".
So, there you go. What was
Dermot on about though ? What are 'crisps' ? Something sexual or drug
related ? Hmm, Dermot, you've got us all wondering now about you more than
ever ! Bless ya.
* To get hold of the clip - which is some 42mb in size, you'll need to
have a good look around the web - or i suggest use the p2p networks - and
try searching under 'BBLB_big_brother5_preproduction_oops'.
With the obvious first target 'kitten' now booted, the house naturally
turned to Ahmed. With the first round of nominations done, we are now
aware of Ahmed, Michelle, and Emma being next up for the boot.
In my initial impressions I
noted that I felt Emma would not only be the ultimate winner, but that she
was also C4's 'chosen one' of this series - and thus she had a fundamental
advantage over the others. Yet Emma has not only received nominations this
week, but she is up for the boot. Fortunately - or not (if you believe in
C4 conspiracies), Neither Emma or Michelle are going to be booted this
week from the show. Indeed the two people that do end up in the bed-sit
will be exempt from nominations for 2 weeks - which is really quite
extraordinary. Being up for nomination could in fact be the best thing that
could have happened to Emma/Michelle if it means they are protected until
The bed-sit idea could be extremely fun to watch, and there are many
opportunities for some superb scenarios for C4 to select and play with. If
Ahmed and Michelle are placed together - what the hell are these two going
to do in their stay ? Will they talk at all, or just sit quietly and watch
BB 24/7 ?
Voters will now have to make a choice. Do they support the children of the
house, or the adults ? The children offer a lot of light entertainment -
but the adults offer a lot of seriously fascinating back stabbing and
sneaky bitching. Two interesting scenarios, perhaps we'll get a bit of
both in the days ahead.
Enjoy the show
Calrissian : Watching the
housemates with the all seeing eye.
Originally Published © 2004 Philip
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