Drawing the Battle Lines

The Alliances are starting to form up nicely in this sixth series of the UK's favourite reality show, and some serious emotional cracks are already apparent between housemates. Big Brother is back, and it looks as though there is plenty of potential in each of the housemates. Somewhat surprisingly the producers have started off the show with the 'unlucky' concept. The rumours that BB6 could turn out to be as tough going for the housemates as last year indeed seem to be the case. Are viewers getting tired of this 'evil BB' attitude? The answer is probably yes, but there is still a little mileage left in the nasty version of the show. What true fan of the show doesn't like to see housemates being cruelly manipulated against each other? Come on, be honest !

Happy birthday witch. Is Mary this years winner?


The Housemates

I couldn't resist but have another vain attempt to guess the names of this year's housemates. For BB6 I got 1 person right; I predicted 'Sam: 19, student type (a less aggressive form of Emma)'. Correct occupation, age - sort of close, but not entirely 'emma like'. Oh well. 

Anyway....here we go...lets take a look at this years rats.

Anthony, 23

His entrance into the house was particularly annoying, so much so that the crowd eventually turned on him, lol. Anthony came across in his audition video as something of a moody bugger, - just look at his eyes in the evening. He may have a great C-list celebrity smile, but he seems to lack enough character depth to earn enough public respect. Is he the new Scott (BB4) Mk.II ?

Summary: Anthony seems the standard dull piece of eye candy for the teenie texters. It would seem highly improbable though that he can win. 

Craig, 20

TWAT, idiot, bitch, weak wristed chav, .....I could run off a far longer list of words to describe this fool, yet Craig deserves very little from me, the housemates, and fans of BB. His near constant bitch snears against Makosi and others are decidedly tiresome. As a game player he has already played the cry baby 'I'm weak and vulnerable' card once, how many cards does he hold in his hand? I suspect he is a one card player. Craig's new bitch fest friends Vanessa and Lesley have supported Craig, but he has already annoyed the 'intellectual elders' of the house, and that will be his downfall. Even Saskia realised that Craig is not to be trusted and nominated him, although of course Makosi was the one with 'true power' in nominations round'1. 

Summary: This common cry baby idiot has already made for some good entertainment value, but he has already critically damaged what little chance he had of winning. Craig to get the boot, this Friday.


Derek, 40

Gay, Black, Tory, ex-drunk driver (USA), and pro animal cruelty. An interesting combination to put it mildly. My first impression of Derek was one of 'ohh my,...a real stuck up fool'. However, as most would agree, Derek is a very polite and good natured guy. He is perhaps the most professional person BB has ever had. A writer, well networked in many social circles, Derek doubtless has the most superior communication skills of any previous contestant. He'd make a worthy and novel winner, however it appears he simply doesn't fit into the majority of the group.

Summary: Derek is a bit too distant from the other housemates. Being the first person to go to bed is almost certainly indicative of the fact that he can't win support from either his fellow housemates or the public. Derek won't win.

Kemal, 19

The belly dancer, originally from Turkey. A more intelligent version of 'Marco the seal'. Kemal is highly adept in building close friendships in the house, and has chosen wisely in pairing up with Makosi. Kemal would now do well to build closer bonds with Saskia, Derek, and Mary.

Summary: Kemal is a fascinating character. He might well annoy a few particular groups in society - and certainly a few people in the house, however he should easily make it to week 7. Kemal won't win though.


Kamel has an unusual style of bathing


Lesley, 19

Normally I am always one for slamming down any of those idiots, the social class D3-E3 people. The ones that frown on education, the people that look down on those that buy books ! There is something about Lesley though that makes me feel great sadness for her. I sense in her a rather chronic chunk of inferiority, one that manifest itself in her feeling she needs to wear the most blatant low cut tops - she girl is desperate for attention, even if doesn't realise it herself. The fact that she failed to get a single nomination in week'1 can not be treated as a sign she is safe for more than a few weeks.

Summary: Ms. Lesley is intellectually the weakest person of the house, that much is certain.


Makosi, 24

Finally BB has chosen a true Goddess, a cardiac nurse from London. Ohh how I wish Makosi can win BB6. There are those who would love it for the 'hey, we need a black winner for once', but I don't follow that attitude. Makosi seems a fairly worthy potential winner, the fact that she is a beautiful milk chocolate colour is but a bonus ;). Makosi is arguably the most attractive housemate in BB history. Her initial total lack of understanding in her BB assigned secret task was somewhat understandable. Consider if it was your first night on national TV, you're living on a TV set and you are being spoken to by a booming voice you've never heard before.

Summary:  Makosi should make the final night, but it won't be easy, she's first got to have Craig's 'Alliance of Filth' booted from the house. Go Makosi ! You can do it !


Mary, 31

Mad Mary, hmm, those were the two words that came to mind when she first appeared. Her entrance wearing a cloak and carrying a broomstick really maddened me. Such antics are what give pagans a bad name. Mary's initial regret at entering the BB house soon subsided, and she seems ready to go the distance. Mary could be the dark horse winner of the series, but she seems so very vulnerable at times. Her occasional moments of depression where she ends up speaking of wishing to leave is not a good sign for lasting the full 11 weeks.

Summary: Mary is strong, smart, and has a great depth of character. The public might well go for her if she can keep her cool a bit more often, and she remains a favourite to at least reach the final week.

Maxwell, 24

Filthy 'jack the lad' stereotypical fool. Maxwell is living up to all the London clichés, and it could really annoy the hell out of all those living north of Watford. Is he the type looking to have onscreen sex? Err, maybe, but I doubt it. In a way he reminds me of P.J (BB3), except a far more annoying version.

Summary: Maxwell has to go, at least by week 5 ;)

Roberto, 32

Despite getting 4 nominations in week'1, Roberto seems to be a reliable and secure housemate. He has found a role for himself in the house- the kitchen, and he has at least few allies.

Summary: The most solid housemate of the group, Roberto would seem the likely 'safe bet' for the long term, although he needs to work a bit harder to get on better with his fellow housemates - particularly Science and Mary.

Sam, 23

The ultimate in wallpaper 'empty head' housemates. Just what the hell does Sam think she is doing? So far all she has done is worn 2 bikini's (will they ever get washed?), and laughed at just about anything anyone says. Sam is playing the worse game of the group, and is the prime candidate for the boot in the next fortnight. Her audition video - where she claimed she was so horny, it just sounds like its a case of all talk and no action.

Summary: Sam is particularly weak as a housemate. She has made many webmasters happy with all the screenshots of her lithe body in a bikini, but that seems to be all she has to offer.

Saskia, 23

Saskia is a strong minded young woman. Her initial few days in the house have been great to watch. Her major argument with Mary was highly entertaining (women sure are better at arguing than men!). She sure did well in the BB Rap task - there is something about her voice that is strangely attractive to me - but enough of my personal taste though.

Summary: Tania (BB4), MK.II. Saskia won't win BB6, I just don't see enough outright tactical ability in her to achieve victory.

Science, 22

Weird. A less 'fun' version of Victor. Science seems to be really unstable and highly moody. His current major running disagreement with Ricardo is getting a little close to dangerous (as at Wednesday night), when Science is almost a little physically pushy against Ricardo. Science remains a freelancer in the group, yet he is not as 'noticeable' as some of the others, thus he'll survive until the second haft of the show.

Summary: e=mc x the square root of ghetto + 3 Hoods. Science won't win BB6, he is not the winning type. Ya know wat I'm sayin?

Vanessa, 19

Ahh yes, dear Van'. Thing is, despite all the fizz about her being bi-sexual, she seems to be turning into a wallpaper housemate. You know the type I'm thinking of; Steph/Scott from BB4, or Shell from BB5. She is a mere 19 years of age (C4/Endemol certainly gone for the youngsters this year), but I think we admit she is great eye candy.

Summary: Vanessa was Craig's uber-bitch lackey, and if Craig does get boot she will be lost at sea - Lesley would probably break away from her. Van' has no hope of winning.


The new wallpaper housemate: Vanessa

Group Dynamics - Day'1-6

I've always loved Big Brother for one primary reason, it remains the most amazing illustration of group dynamics possible. Even better, we get to see what happens when an all powerful overseer (BB) manipulates housemates in a diverse array of styles. BB is the best psychology experiment ever, one that would never pass the ethics board of any institution!

Lets consider the current friendships & alliances that have already formed. It is of course somewhat difficult to be absolutely certain about who 'really' likes who, since there could still be a few holding onto an artificial persona - although sooner or later the real person will shine through. In any case...here we go.....

1. The 'best pals' Makosi and Kemal
2. The Alliance of Filth: Craig, leading his 2 lackeys: Lesley and Vanessa
3. The Alliance of Integrity: Roberto, Mary, and Derek
4. The lads: Maxwell and Anthony
5. Wallpaper housemates: Science, Saskia, and Sam

First, it is now clear that Makosi and Kemal are going to be very close for the whole their stay. They have had some great bonding conversations, and spend a lot of their time being very observant of what is going on in the house. Contrary to initial evidence, Makosi is very smart and is well aware of how best to act in the house. Kamel is a superb companion to be by Makosi's side. Together, the two of them could be a strong paid, enough to get through to the latter stages.

Craig's alliance of filth is certainly a dirty little trio of housemates. Craig's number one bitch is Vanessa - who remains mostly mute in the house, merely smiling, and cackling occasionally when Craig makes a whispered remark about someone. The filth alliance is one that is based on nastiness, and as such is highly unstable, and liable to implode at any moment. If shit hits the fan, Craig will be one of the first in the house to get covered in it - and he'll probably cry. Silly boy.

Derek, Roberto, and Mary, are a weird bunch. Derek remains the most distant of the house - he sure loves to get to bed earlier than anyone, and is always up early. Roberto and Mary have had their moments, yet I still believe these two are quite like minded, and would rather nominate one of the commoners than turn on each other.

The two lads Anthony and Maxwell, Argh ! Their chats are somewhat dull, and offer little entertainment for anyone with an I.Q above 95.   Finally, we have the freelancers, aka the Independents, aka the Wallpaper housemates. Science, Saskia, and Sam are playing the game poorly, neither of them have any firm friends in the group and are thus highly vulnerable to being nominated for the boot.

Graphic notes:

1. I do still place Roberto and Mary in the same group, since they are on the same level, even though they are currently in direct nomination conflict.

2.'If' Mary survives, it would seem likely that the Alliance of integrity will turn in force against the lads - and knock of Sam/Vanessa - the free lancers.

3. Since its early days the group dynamic is rapidly changing and is way more unstable that it will be by weeks 4-5.


Nominations: Round'1

What a masterful turn in the mid-week nominations.

Makosi, Roberto, Sam : 4
Vanessa: 3
Derek, Maxwell, Saskia: 2
Anthony, Craig, Kamel, Mary, Science: 1
Lesley: 0

Makosi passes her task (just!), and then BB surprisingly gives her the decision as to the two housemates who should be up for the public vote. She chooses Mary as her primary target, and Craig second. 


Makosi and Kamel: a strong bond already

Looking Ahead

It is an awful long way to go, the first eviction has not even taken place, but lets speculate on the eventual winner, and what broad order the housemates will get booted off. Most BB series end with 2 leading contestants, and 2 relative dullards/wallpaper ones. Just flick back through the past 2 years, the housemate types remain broadly the same, only the names change.

Wk'1: Craig
Weeks 2,3: Vanessa, Sam
Weeks 4,5,6: Maxwell, Anthony, Saskia
Weeks 7,8,9: Derek, Science, Kemal

Wk'10: **unless BB wants just 3 in the final week, there will need to be 1 extra housemate, or there will need to be 1 week without an eviction - which is obviously not likely. Similarly, a double eviction in BB6 seems not possible.

Wk'11:  Anthony, Mary, and Makosi, with Ricardo winning

This year, Roberto will surely make the final '4. He is a damn strong character, and is superior to last years Dan - who was an important 'balancer' in the group. Mary remains the difficult enigma. Will she simply annoy too many viewers with her quirks, or will she somehow endear herself to us? Makosi is most certainly the Goddess of BB6, yet she is going to suffer exactly the same problems Anouska from BB4 suffered - although gladly she passed her first week special task. Anthony may well make up the fourth place - the token 'wallpaper housemate' place

Right now, if I had to put money on a winner, it'd be on Ricardo. He remains the most reliable of the group, he is a sturdy character, and will certainly make it to the last week or two. He will face the glamourous rival Makosi though - assuming the public come to appreciate that she as smart as she is beautiful.

Friday's eviction is sure to be fun and a not to be missed TV event, who will get the boot? Will it be the new bitch from hell Craig, or the Witch? As ever, YOU decide!


Calrissian : Would be more than happy to nominate the common filth off the show

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Originally Published 2/6/2005 © 2005 Philip Calrissian
Last Updated : 30/06/05