Attack of the Jungle Cats

It has been another busy week in the Big Brother house. The long awaited 'bedsit' concept was finally implemented - with somewhat mixed results. The 'Jungle Cats' have continued to attempt to see the 'children' booted from the house. Jason and Vanessa got closer than ever before, with Michelle missing her beloved Chicken.



The past week in the house

The week could be summed up as, a sprinkling of bitching, nudity, more bitching, tears, some more nakedness, moaning, nomination talk, more bitching, and a touch of passion. It has been a good week in the house. It certainly hasn't been dull like last year. If the house can remain as busy and entertaining as it has been for the remaining 6-7 weeks, then the series will indeed be a success, enough to satisfy most of the 'core BB fans'.


The Fake Eviction

First the results...
A total of 387,168 were cast by the UK public.
54% for Michelle
29% for Emma
17% for Ahmed

Interestingly, Emma received far few votes than Michelle. Emma is way more popular than Michelle - especially amongst those teenie texters who remain upset at how Michelle has been messing around with 'team handsome' Stuart. During last weeks eviction Michelle was booed by the crowd whenever Davina mentioned her name. Poor Michelle has something of an image problem outside of the house.

Once again this series we have the public - especially those teenie texters, focusing on booting the female housemates first.. Indeed, when it came to the choice of Ahmed, Emma, and Michelle, almost three times as many voted for both girls than for Ahmed.

All in all, the fake eviction was an interesting concept -despite the screw-up by C4. Of all the current housemates I can not think of a more entertaining pair than Emma and Michelle. They have been great together, whether it was making edible bikini's, shouting at BB to be let loose back into the house, or deciding who was going to get an icy shower.

However, the novelty of watching two housemates watch their fellow housemates is now wearing thin. It would seem unlikely that the bedsit idea will ever be used again by C4. All future housemates will be highly suspicious of double evictions in opening weeks, making the idea essentially pointless. 


BB "...Emma you have been evicted"

C4 Screwed up... again.

Even at the best of times- no matter how much preparation or training, mistakes will occasionally still happen. Last Friday was a dire example of how not to run a hit TV show. Davina was talking to the crowd and viewers about the bedsit, only for some of the housemates to hear what she said. This absolutely stupid mistake on the part of  the sound engineers has really negated the effect of the double eviction. Despite a lot of possible theories, most housemates seem to have realised that Emma and/or Michelle have been watching them since last Friday.

It is a bloody shame that C4 screwed up what was a great idea. What sort of idiots are they employing in their technical departments, are they all being paid minimum wage - it would at least partially explain it ;)


A Twisted Task

The latest Saturday task was in the exact style I had suggested last year. The housemates did their very best in the first part of the task, collecting 9 rings whilst doing the human wheelbarrow. Yet BB was great, in that for each ring the housemates collected, the housemates would then have to hang for 10 seconds longer.

The housemates truly failed in the second part of the task. Only Shell managed to hold on for the full 90 seconds, keeping 2000 for the prize fund. Ahmed came within 20 seconds of his goal, whilst Nadia was more concerned with being stung by the nettles and failed dismally within a short time.

Overall, it was a good task. Simple and somewhat 'cheap' (how much does a few beds of nettles cost?), yet it was indeed the type of task that I have been wishing for since the days of Alex and Jade. However, BB can not yet be considered in any manner 'Evil', although it has been doing reasonably well in its 'twisted attitude' this year. As Stuart noted post-task, BB will always "get them in the end". When will the housemates realise they can't possibly win against BB ?


Hanging Limp: Marco breaking the rules, another 2k gone.


The Prize fund

As at week 3 the prize stands at 77,000. Another 8000 was lost during the 'stinging nettle' Saturday task. Any reduction in the overall prize is good news - it will most definitely add more pressure to the housemates. We know that Shell is the most money desperate of the group, and it is indeed interesting that she was the only one that held on for the full 90 seconds on Saturday.
How low will the prize go ? With another 6 Saturdays left, I foresee perhaps another 25k to 32k being knocked off the total. However, I foresee in the penultimate week the opportunity to claw back maybe 50k, or perhaps even more.


The Jungle Cats vs. The Children

One of the most interesting developments in the last week has been the nominations talk. Jason - being the head of the 'Jungle Cats', this past week has lead a crusade to see that Marco and Nadia would be up for the boot. Despite bitching to Victor and Stuart for a number of  hours, neither of them followed his lead and both Victor and Stuart instead voted for Dan and Vanessa. 

BB later warned Jason, Stuart and Victor about their nominations talk. Yet, today (Tuesday, Day 18) almost all the housemates are consumed with talk about who voted for who. BB seems content once again to allow this semi-nominations talk. This is good, since it drives up the level of paranoia in the group - especially for Shell and Jason, and paranoia is always inherently good for entertainment, 


Getting it On: Vanessa and Jason


Housemate Assessments

Ψ Ahmed: Bless this housemate ! He has managed to now survive at least a month in the house - who would have expected this ! Ahmed continues to have a good verbal stab at Marco now and again, which remains pretty funny to watch.

Ahmed won't win BB5, but the notion of 'Ahmania' outside the house is something the housemates are actually considering a distinct possibility, ha-ha.

Ψ Dan : The 'mystery man' has done okay in the house so far. He has mostly kept quiet for much of the time. He rarely bitches about other housemates, and has tried very hard to maintain a 'light and easy' attitude in the house.

Dan will survive this weeks eviction, but he will remain a prime candidate the following week for the public boot.

Ψ Emma : Bless her, Emma is beginning to pick up something of a following with viewers. Emma has had a superb week in and outside of the house. Perhaps she expected to be booted, but whatever the case, Emma is now starting to soar in popularity. Emma remains the 'dippy' housemate. Many commentators have continued to claim she is 'faking her stupidity, and doing it to get attention'. However, all the evidence so far points to my belief that Emma is just being herself.

Emma is still on track to win BB5. She just needs to tone down her voice a bit, go easy on her 'soul singing', and not say anything controversial that might upset the UK teen population.


Emma or Michelle ? You Decide

*The above 2 pictures were taken from Emma and Michelle's time in the bedsit. For no apparent reason, they decided to make bikini's from a few things BB gave them one evening. Both housemates did their whole bodies that night, but C4 felt the UK public couldn't possibly cope with seeing 'all' of them naked. Hmm, typical repressed UK culture.

As a further side note, can you imagine what last year's sexually uptight BB4 housemates think of this years housemates ? 

Ψ Jason : Leader of the 'Jungle Cats', Jason is now in serious trouble. Not only have Stuart and Victor ignored his 'wishes' for nominations, but his fancy 'the Vanessa' is due to get the boot this Friday. Jason has been warned once for discussing nominations, yet will he ignore this order and try once more to get the children booted ? I believe Jason probably will talk about nominations, and will continue to believe that he has both Stuart and Victor on his side - and in this respect he is gravely mistaken.

Will Jason now switch to a 'lighter' relationship with Dan ? Ohh lord, surely Jason would not switch to Dan so quickly on national TV ? Jason having got 2 votes in round'2  is on the threshold of being up for the public vote. I had expected Jason to last until week 8-9, but if he keeps up this bitching about Marco and friends, Jason can forget any chance of lasting more than another 2-3 weeks.

Ψ Marco : The happy clappy seal has really been annoying a lot of viewers lately. Some find him endearing, yet the seal appears somewhat 'shallow' to most. However, both of Marco's nominations- Dan and Van' were up for the boot, so at least he is in touch with the 'mood in the house'.

I still do not expect Marco to last beyond week 5-6, and he certainly has no hope of winning.

Ψ Michelle : Her first eviction was a tough event on her, and indeed once the announcement was made she was in tears. Yet she never met Davina, instead she has enjoyed a unique BB experience, watching her fellow housemates 24/7 via a live feed..

Michelle faces a few massive challenges if she is going to remain in the house. The teen girl voters do not like Michelle, and if Michelle is up for the public vote again she'll be in critical danger of being booted. How can she turn around the teenie texters to support her ? I would suggest she keep things more 'cool' with her beloved chicken. If anything seriously sexual does happen between Michelle and her 'chick' on-screen it is only going to ruin Michelle's chance of reaching the final night of the show. Indeed, if she is booted before day 70, her 'welcome' outside is going to be pretty nasty.

Michelle would do well to stick close to Emma, and try to keep on the good side of  Jason and Victor. If she can do this, she should be safe for a few more weeks.


Michelle has been missing her Chicken

Ψ Nadia : The Lady with the cackling laugh, dear Nadia is one of the lights of BB5. Whatever you may think about her background, Nadia has been a really positive and bright housemate. She has never bitched about any of the housemates, and deserves to survive for a least another 2 weeks. She has really missed the company of Emma and Michelle, and so she should have a much easier time once the bedsit pair return.

Ψ Shell : The money grabbing housemate, the two faced housemate, the 'hey look at me I'm naked' housemate - Shell is showing ever more signs of her desperation to win the show. It is becoming almost a nightly occurrence, where Shell will strip off for 30seconds, run around the garden, and then quickly get dressed again. Is she really playing up to the cameras ? Does she really believe stripping off for haft a minute is going to keep the public on her side ?

Shell, as expected is right on track to reach the final night.

Ψ Stuart : Has he been missing his Michelle ? Err, I don't think so. Stuart was sad to see Michelle go, but once she was out the door, he breathed a big sigh of  relief. No more clingy insecure woman clawing at him 24/7, Stuart has had a relatively peaceful week in the house.

Stuart will reach the final night, but he lacks the depth of character to win BB5.

Ψ Vanessa : Poor Vanessa, despite her own attempts to portray a pure and 'professional' image in the house, her fellow housemates have gone for her en masse. Picking up 5 votes this week, there is no doubt that poor Vanessa is going to be evicted. Vanessa actually thought she had a chance of winning, which in itself is quite laughable ;)

Ψ Victor : Yo yo yo, da Vet is in session, dis time to put down Dan, and da Van.

Victor continues to be coming out with some great lines in the diary room. One of the latest was his attack on Dan in his recent nominations as "...Gandalf the Gay...he's part of another group in here, an axis of evil...". Indeed Victor is a pretty competent game player so far, all of the people he has nominated so far have been evicted.

The question remains, who will Victor now target ? Will he turn on Jason, as I suspect ?  We could well see some fascinating voting patterns from Victor over the next 3 weeks, he looks the type who is going to back stab those he keeps close - including Stuart.

Victor aims to be the shock winner of BB5, yet he still faces an almighty struggle to even reach the latter weeks.

Nominations- round 2


Ahmed : Vanessa & Marco
Dan : Nadia & Ahmed
Emma : Victor & Jason
Jason : Nadia & Marco 
Marco : Dan & Vanessa
Michelle : Victor & Jason
Nadia : Dan & Vanessa
Shell : Ahmed & Dan
Stuart : Dan & Vanessa
Vanessa : Ahmed & Nadia
Victor : Dan & Vanessa

*Emma and Michelle were exempt from being nominated, but were still able to vote.

Vanessa and Dan : 5 votes
Nadia and Ahmed: 3 votes
Marco, Jason, and Victor : 2 votes

What a surprise result !

Despite all the expectations, the housemates have provided us with a real surprise. Not only has Ahmed evaded being up for the boot, but one of the big guns is up - Vanessa. For the record though, I never considered Dan a particularly important housemate. Ahmed did remarkably well this week, with just 2 out of 10 possible votes. Ahmania indeed ;)  Note how Nadia scored 3 votes- as I had expected - she is a prime candidate for the boot next week.

Summary voting notes...

-Once again Shell and Stuart have yet to receive a single nomination this series. They are indeed the neutral housemates, and look set to survive until the final night.
-Bedsit Buddies: Michelle and Emma voted the same.
-An unofficial alliance : Marco, Nadia, Stuart, and Victor: all voted for Dan and Vanessa. A fascinating foursome.

-Consistancy and Random voting pattern : Housemates that can be relied upon for consistent voting : Emma, Shell, and Stuart. All other housemates - so far, show that they are more than willing to switch allegiances on a weekly basis.


Dan saying his farewells to Vanessa ;)

Group Dynamics

Let us take a quick overview of the remaining 11 housemates.

Group 1: 'the children': Marco, Nadia, with Emma and Michelle in the bedsit
Group 2: 'middle people': Ahmed, Shell, Stuart, Victor
Group 3: 'the adults' : Dan, Jason, Vanessa

The most dramatic change this past week is that Dan can now well and truly be considered part of the 'adult group'. Dan has set himself aside with the likes of Dan and Vanessa. Yet this has had the effect of Dan being a prime candidate for the boot.

Despite what Shell said to Dan after the nomination results, Shell has well and truly moved to the 'middle people'. Shell has realised that if she is going to win BB5 she can not alienate the 'children' of the house. In the coming week or so, it might well be seen that Shell will associate herself more with the children, rather than Jason or Dan. In particular, watch for how she reacts to Emma and Michelle - she will almost certainly be uncharacteristically 'overjoyed' at the bedsit pair's return. Such behaviour though will be fake. Shell can not be trusted.

A final note on voting. Shell and Stuart are both yet to receive a single vote. From day'1 I felt both would easily reach the final night - they simply look like 'final night housemates', although neither will win. Both of them are pretty much taking the 'neutral' approach to relationships in the house. They are doing their best to keep everyone happy in the house.


Michelle and Emma: Women of the 21'st Century ?


Looking ahead

The attempt by Jason to form an alliance of the Jungle cats has failed. Jason's dis-belief when the nomination results were announced today was too funny. Does Jason not realise that he has no real support in the house, and that indeed if he keeps this attitude, he'll be up for the boot next week?

When BB returns Emma and Michelle to the house this Wednesday, we can be sure that the group will be shaken up quite a bit. Emma - being quite the feisty one, can be expected to 'lose it' at some point, most likely at Victor. This could be quite entertaining to watch, so stay tuned.

How will the reunited Michelle and Stuart get on ? I would suggest that Michelle will want to get things back to how they were - her clinging to him 24/7, and asking him every 10 minutes "...what ya thinkin chicken?...".  However, this may well once again just increase the anti-Michelle attitude that many viewers already feel.

So, enjoy this Friday's eviction when Vanessa is sure to get the boot, and be sure to keep an eye on Emma and Victor who look likely to clash again if BB supplies enough booze.

Enjoy the show


Calrissian : Cheering on Emma, winner of BB5.


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Originally Published 2004 Philip Calrissian
Last Updated : 15/06/04