Attack of the Jungle Cats
It has been another busy week in the Big Brother
house. The long awaited 'bedsit' concept was finally implemented - with
somewhat mixed results. The 'Jungle Cats' have continued to attempt to see
the 'children' booted from the house. Jason and Vanessa got closer than
ever before, with Michelle missing her beloved Chicken.
The past week in the house
The week could be summed up as, a sprinkling of bitching, nudity, more
bitching, tears, some more nakedness, moaning, nomination talk, more
bitching, and a touch of passion. It has been a good week in the house. It
certainly hasn't been dull like last year. If the house can remain as busy
and entertaining as it has been for the remaining 6-7
weeks, then the series will indeed be a success, enough to satisfy most of
the 'core BB fans'.
The Fake Eviction
First the results...
A total of 387,168 were cast by the UK
54% for Michelle
29% for Emma
17% for Ahmed
Interestingly, Emma received
far few votes than Michelle. Emma is way more popular than Michelle -
especially amongst those teenie texters who remain upset at how Michelle
has been messing around with 'team handsome' Stuart. During last weeks
eviction Michelle was booed by the crowd whenever Davina mentioned her
name. Poor Michelle
has something of an image problem outside of the house.
Once again this series we have the public - especially those teenie
texters, focusing on booting the female housemates first.. Indeed, when it came to
the choice of Ahmed, Emma, and Michelle, almost three times as many voted
for both girls than for Ahmed.
All in all, the fake eviction was an
interesting concept -despite the screw-up by C4. Of all the current
housemates I can not think of a more entertaining pair than Emma and Michelle. They have been great together,
whether it was making edible bikini's, shouting at BB to be let loose back
into the house, or deciding who was going to get an icy shower.
However, the novelty of watching two housemates watch their fellow
housemates is now wearing thin. It would seem unlikely that the bedsit
idea will ever be used again by C4. All future housemates will be highly
suspicious of double evictions in opening weeks, making the idea
BB "...Emma you have been evicted"
C4 Screwed up... again.
Even at the best of times- no
matter how much preparation or training, mistakes will occasionally still
happen. Last Friday was a dire example of how not to run a hit TV show. Davina
was talking to the crowd and viewers about the bedsit, only for some of the
housemates to hear what she said. This absolutely stupid mistake on the
part of the sound engineers has really negated the effect of the
double eviction. Despite a lot of possible theories, most housemates seem
to have realised that Emma and/or Michelle have been watching them since
It is a bloody shame that C4 screwed up what was a great idea. What sort
of idiots are they employing in their technical departments, are they all
being paid minimum wage - it would at least partially explain it ;)
A Twisted Task
The latest Saturday task was in the exact style I had suggested last year. The
housemates did their very best in the first part of the task, collecting 9
rings whilst doing the human wheelbarrow. Yet BB was great, in that for each ring
the housemates collected, the housemates would then have to hang for 10
The housemates truly failed
in the second part of the task. Only Shell managed to hold on
for the full 90 seconds, keeping £2000 for the prize fund. Ahmed came within 20
seconds of his goal, whilst Nadia was more concerned with being stung by
the nettles and failed dismally within a short time.
Overall, it was a good task.
Simple and somewhat 'cheap' (how much does a few beds of nettles cost?), yet it was indeed the type of task that I
have been wishing for since the days of Alex and Jade. However, BB can not yet be
considered in any manner 'Evil', although it has been doing reasonably
well in its 'twisted attitude'
this year. As Stuart noted post-task, BB will always "get them in the
end". When will the housemates realise they can't possibly win against BB
Hanging Limp: Marco breaking the rules, another £2k gone.
The Prize fund
As at week 3 the prize stands at £77,000. Another £8000 was lost during
the 'stinging nettle' Saturday task. Any reduction in the overall prize is
good news - it will most definitely add more pressure to the housemates.
We know that Shell is the most money desperate of the group, and it is
indeed interesting that she was the only one that held on for the full 90
seconds on Saturday.
How low will the prize go ? With another 6 Saturdays left, I foresee
perhaps another £25k to £32k being knocked off the total. However, I foresee
in the penultimate week the opportunity to claw back maybe 50k, or perhaps
The Jungle Cats vs. The
One of the most interesting
developments in the last week has been the nominations talk. Jason - being
the head of the 'Jungle Cats', this past week has lead a crusade to see
that Marco and Nadia would be up for the boot. Despite bitching to Victor
and Stuart for a number of hours, neither of them followed
his lead and both Victor and Stuart instead voted for Dan and Vanessa.
BB later warned Jason, Stuart and Victor about their nominations talk. Yet,
today (Tuesday, Day 18) almost all the housemates are consumed with talk
about who voted for who. BB seems content once again to allow this
semi-nominations talk. This is good, since it drives up the level of
paranoia in the group - especially for Shell and Jason, and paranoia is
always inherently good for entertainment,
Getting it On: Vanessa and Jason
Ψ Ahmed: Bless this housemate ! He has managed to now survive at
least a month in the house - who would have expected this ! Ahmed
continues to have a good verbal stab at Marco now and again, which remains
pretty funny to watch.
Ahmed won't win BB5, but the
notion of 'Ahmania' outside the house is something the housemates are
actually considering a distinct possibility, ha-ha.
Ψ Dan : The 'mystery man' has done okay in the house so far. He has
mostly kept quiet for much of the time. He rarely bitches about other
housemates, and has tried very hard to maintain a 'light and easy'
attitude in the house.
Dan will survive this weeks eviction, but he will remain a prime candidate
the following week for the public boot.
Ψ Emma : Bless her, Emma is beginning to pick up something of a following
with viewers. Emma has had a superb week in and outside of the house.
Perhaps she expected to be booted, but whatever the case, Emma is now
starting to soar in popularity. Emma remains the 'dippy' housemate. Many
commentators have continued to claim she is 'faking her stupidity, and
doing it to get attention'. However, all the evidence so far points to my
belief that Emma is just being herself.
Emma is still on track to win BB5. She just needs to tone down her voice a
bit, go easy on her 'soul singing', and not say anything controversial
that might upset the UK teen population.
Emma or Michelle ? You Decide
*The above 2 pictures were taken from Emma and Michelle's time in the
bedsit. For no apparent reason, they decided to make bikini's from a few
things BB gave them one evening. Both housemates did their whole bodies
that night, but C4 felt the UK public couldn't possibly cope with seeing
'all' of them naked. Hmm, typical repressed UK culture.
As a further side note, can you imagine what last year's sexually uptight
BB4 housemates think of this years housemates ?
Ψ Jason : Leader of the 'Jungle Cats', Jason is now in serious
trouble. Not only have Stuart and Victor ignored his 'wishes' for
nominations, but his fancy 'the Vanessa' is due to get the boot this
Friday. Jason has been warned once for discussing nominations, yet will he
ignore this order and try once more to get the children booted ? I believe
Jason probably will talk about nominations, and will continue to believe
that he has both Stuart and Victor on his side - and in this respect he is
Will Jason now switch to a
'lighter' relationship with Dan ? Ohh lord, surely Jason would not switch
to Dan so quickly on national TV ? Jason having got 2 votes in round'2
is on the threshold of being up for the public vote. I had expected Jason
to last until week 8-9, but if he keeps up this bitching about Marco and
friends, Jason can forget any chance of lasting more than another 2-3
Ψ Marco : The happy clappy seal has really been annoying a lot of
viewers lately. Some find him endearing, yet the seal appears somewhat
'shallow' to most. However, both of Marco's nominations- Dan and Van' were
up for the boot, so at least he is in touch with the 'mood in the house'.
I still do not expect Marco
to last beyond week 5-6, and he certainly has no hope of winning.
Ψ Michelle : Her first
eviction was a tough event on her, and indeed once the announcement was
made she was in tears. Yet she never met Davina, instead she
has enjoyed a unique BB experience, watching her fellow housemates 24/7
via a live feed..
Michelle faces a few massive
challenges if she is going to remain in the house. The teen girl voters do not like Michelle, and if Michelle is
up for the public vote again she'll be in critical danger of being booted.
How can she turn around the teenie texters to support her ? I would
suggest she keep things more 'cool' with her beloved chicken. If anything
seriously sexual does happen between Michelle and her 'chick' on-screen it is only going to
ruin Michelle's chance of reaching the final night of the show. Indeed, if
she is booted before day 70, her 'welcome' outside is going to be pretty
Michelle would do well to stick close to Emma, and try to keep on the good
side of Jason and Victor. If she can do this, she should be safe for
a few more weeks.
Michelle has been missing her Chicken
Ψ Nadia : The Lady with the cackling laugh, dear Nadia is one of the
lights of BB5. Whatever you may think about her background, Nadia has been
a really positive and bright housemate. She has never bitched about any of
the housemates, and deserves to survive for a least another 2 weeks. She
has really missed the company of Emma and Michelle, and so she should have
a much easier time once the bedsit pair return.
Ψ Shell : The money grabbing housemate, the two faced housemate, the 'hey
look at me I'm naked' housemate - Shell is showing ever more signs of her
desperation to win the show. It is becoming almost a nightly occurrence,
where Shell will strip off for 30seconds, run around the garden, and then
quickly get dressed again. Is she really playing up to the cameras ? Does
she really believe stripping off for haft a minute is going to keep the
public on her side ?
Shell, as expected is right on track to reach the final night.
Ψ Stuart : Has he been missing his Michelle ? Err, I don't think so.
Stuart was sad to see Michelle go, but once she was out the door, he
breathed a big sigh of relief. No more clingy insecure woman clawing
at him 24/7, Stuart has had a relatively peaceful week in the house.
Stuart will reach the final night, but he lacks the depth of character to
Ψ Vanessa : Poor Vanessa, despite her own attempts to portray a pure
and 'professional' image in the house, her fellow housemates have gone for
her en masse. Picking up 5 votes this week, there is no doubt that poor
Vanessa is going to be evicted. Vanessa actually thought she had a chance
of winning, which in itself is quite laughable ;)
Ψ Victor : Yo yo yo, da Vet is in session, dis time to put down Dan,
and da Van.
Victor continues to be coming out with some great lines in the diary room.
One of the latest was his attack on Dan in his recent nominations as "...Gandalf
the Gay...he's part of another group in here, an axis of evil...". Indeed
Victor is a pretty competent game player so far, all of the people he has
nominated so far have been evicted.
The question remains, who will Victor now target ? Will he turn on Jason,
as I suspect ? We could well see some fascinating voting patterns
from Victor over the next 3 weeks, he looks the type who is going to back
stab those he keeps close - including Stuart.
Victor aims to be the shock winner of BB5, yet he still faces an almighty
struggle to even reach the latter weeks.
Nominations- round 2
Ahmed : Vanessa & Marco
Dan : Nadia & Ahmed
Emma : Victor & Jason
Jason : Nadia & Marco
Marco : Dan & Vanessa
Michelle : Victor & Jason
Nadia : Dan & Vanessa
Shell : Ahmed & Dan
Stuart : Dan & Vanessa
Vanessa : Ahmed & Nadia
Victor : Dan & Vanessa
*Emma and Michelle were exempt from being nominated, but were still able
Vanessa and Dan : 5 votes
Nadia and Ahmed: 3 votes
Marco, Jason, and Victor : 2 votes
What a surprise result !
Despite all the expectations,
the housemates have provided us with a real surprise. Not only has Ahmed
evaded being up for the boot, but one of the big guns is up - Vanessa. For
the record though, I never considered Dan a particularly important housemate.
Ahmed did remarkably well this week, with just 2 out of 10 possible votes.
Ahmania indeed ;) Note how Nadia scored 3 votes- as I had expected -
she is a prime candidate for the boot next week.
Summary voting notes...
-Once again Shell and Stuart
have yet to receive a single nomination this series. They are indeed the
neutral housemates, and look set to survive until the final night.
-Bedsit Buddies: Michelle and Emma voted the same.
-An unofficial alliance : Marco, Nadia, Stuart, and Victor: all voted for
Dan and Vanessa. A fascinating foursome.
-Consistancy and Random voting pattern : Housemates that can be relied
upon for consistent voting : Emma, Shell, and Stuart. All other housemates
- so far, show that they are more than willing to switch allegiances on a
Dan saying his farewells to Vanessa ;)
Let us take a quick overview of the remaining 11 housemates.
Group 1: 'the children': Marco, Nadia, with Emma and Michelle in the
Group 2: 'middle people': Ahmed, Shell, Stuart, Victor
Group 3: 'the adults' : Dan, Jason, Vanessa
The most dramatic change this past week is that Dan can now well and truly
be considered part of the 'adult group'. Dan has set himself aside with
the likes of Dan and Vanessa. Yet this has had the effect of Dan being a
prime candidate for the boot.
Despite what Shell said to Dan after the nomination results, Shell has
well and truly moved to the 'middle people'. Shell has realised that if she
is going to win BB5 she can not alienate the 'children' of the house. In
the coming week or so, it might well be seen that Shell will associate
herself more with the children, rather than Jason or Dan. In particular,
watch for how she reacts to Emma and Michelle - she will almost certainly
be uncharacteristically 'overjoyed' at the bedsit pair's return. Such
behaviour though will be fake. Shell can not be trusted.
A final note on voting. Shell and Stuart are both yet to receive a single
vote. From day'1 I felt both would easily reach the final night - they
simply look like 'final night housemates', although neither will win. Both
of them are pretty much taking the 'neutral' approach to relationships in
the house. They are doing their best to keep everyone happy in the house.
Michelle and Emma: Women of the 21'st Century ?
The attempt by Jason to form an alliance of the Jungle cats has failed.
Jason's dis-belief when the nomination results were announced today was
too funny. Does Jason not realise that he has no real support in the
house, and that indeed if he keeps this attitude, he'll be up for the boot
When BB returns Emma and
Michelle to the house this Wednesday, we can be sure that the group will be
shaken up quite a bit. Emma - being quite the feisty one, can be expected
to 'lose it' at some point, most likely at Victor. This could be quite
entertaining to watch, so stay tuned.
How will the reunited Michelle and Stuart get on ? I would suggest that
Michelle will want to get things back to how they were - her clinging to
him 24/7, and asking him every 10 minutes "...what ya thinkin
chicken?...". However, this may well once again just increase the
anti-Michelle attitude that many viewers already feel.
So, enjoy this Friday's
eviction when Vanessa is sure to get the boot, and be sure to keep an eye
on Emma and Victor who look likely to clash again if BB supplies enough
Enjoy the show
Calrissian : Cheering on
Emma, winner of BB5.
Originally Published © 2004 Philip
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